Getting To the Edge, and Choosing to Fall
Posted: Monday, July 27, 2009
by Darren L Johnson
InsideOut Learning, Inc.
One of the all time favorite quotes of mine is. "Think Differently, Be Better." This phrase describes, in my opinion, a main ingredient to succeed beyond your wildest dreams. Even the most successful people fall off the "edge" from time to time. This is the final article in a series of articles about the choices we all have when we choose to go to the edge.
A fall happens when you get to the edge and totally loose control; so much so that you don't even realize you are at the edge - much less that you are falling. A fall is grounded in fear. Fear can be a powerful motivator; and/or fear can be powerfully stifling. Sometimes when confronted with fear, we loose sight of all else. I have not met anyone who, in some aspect of life, has not fallen off the "edge" because of fear.
I share this story in more detail in my book. In 1988 I fell off the "edge" and went tumbling down when I had financial challenges that seemed insurmountable at that time. I made a choice to file bankruptcy and during a visit to my lawyer was told by her assistant that I was, "lower than low" because I wanted to file. I had hit the very bottom after choosing to fall off the "edge." I felt terrible about filing. Nonetheless, I recovered quickly and learned many great lessons from that experience. As a matter of fact, two years later I purchased a condo in downtown Nashville, which was a choice to dive off the "edge." Don't ever let anyone else's perception of who you are, become your reality.
There are many ways to come back from a fall. Try these steps for an inside-out experience that will help you to grow.
First, face (acknowledge) your fear(s). There are only two true emotions. They are fear and love. All other feelings and sentiments stem from these two. If you live in fear of something, it means you are lacking in love for the same thing. If you live in love for or of something (or someone), then it means you have no fear of it (or them). We are all born out of love, but we learn to fear along the way. The spirit is Love, however the ego is grounded in fear. They both co-exist within each of us (ego and spirit). All that having been said, the first activity for you, if you are experiencing a fear is to face it, recognize it, then love it.
Here is an activity for you to do that will free you more than you know. Identify a dream/goal that you have not yet accomplished - one that has been on the shelf for quite some time. Ask yourself, "Why have I not accomplished this yet?" If you begin to experience some kind of fear that has kept you from accomplishing that dream/goal, then write the fear(s) down in your personal journal. After completing that step, put the journal away for a week or so. Once that period has passed, go back to the journal and read over the fear(s) you listed. When you do, pay close attention to how you feel and ask yourself, "Is this real?"
The second thing to do to come back from a fall is to be extremely hopeful. Never loose hope. When I experienced my financial hardship, I refused to believe I was supposed to end up lost and frustrated with my life. I never imagined myself staying in that situation for long. My choice was to keep moving forward to keep hope alive in my heart and mind. Having a personal mission is key to being able to "hopefully" moving forward.
The third thing is to forgive yourself for getting YOU into a situation that resulted in falling off the "edge." Forgiveness is one of the most powerful remedies for your soul. It is a cleansing process that will help to prepare you for moving beyond your current situation. After experiencing a downward spiral in your life, the only direction to go is up. Forgiving yourself will remove the internal obstacles that may keep you from getting up and moving up after a fall.
Finally, make sure you have a plan to come back from your fall. One important component of that plan should be to develop a personal mission statement; one that represents how you want to "BE" as you move forward. One easy way to do this is to use the comments and sentiments of how you want to be remembered. IN other words, if you want to be remembered as a loving and considerate person, then let "loving and considerate" be a part of the way you describe yourself when you write your personal mission statement.
Writing a mission statement is one thing, but the real question is "What do I do with it once it is written?" You have to read it to yourself at least twice a day, every day. The point to having a personal mission is to give you something to strive toward; something you create that will describe and depict how and who you want to BE as you deal with both your inner and outer worlds.
Falling is not a bad thing. It is a way to learn more about how you manage yourself while dealing with the vicissitudes of life. The beautiful thing is that after choosing to fall, you can then choose to get back up, go back to the "edge," and take a dive. The choices about the outcomes of your life always have been, are, and will always be yours.
Until Next Time...
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Top-level comments on this article: (5 total)I like Peter Fonda's line in "Dirty Mary, Crazy Larry." "All you gotta be is willing to take it to the max."Thanks for your comments Ken. I appreciate you reading the article. Looking forward to experiencing your writing.
Great article. Well done.Very interesting write. I rather like you edge analogy.Hi Connor. Thanks for your comments about my writing. Looking forward to reading some of your work.
Darren-I do not know what to say! I feel very moved and encouraged! Great tips to get people back on track! thanks for sharing!Thank you Laura. I appreciate your comments. You can read the entire series by on searchwarp's site by doing a search for the phrase, "getting to the edge" Looking forward to perhaps reading and experiencing your work here on searchwarp.
G'day, Darren,One of my favourite sayings (a Zen Buddhist saying) is: When the student is ready, the teacher appears.Recently, a group of friends and I have been discussing 'change' which is relevant to all of us and your article here. Life is about change and if nothing changes then life is stagnant. But, fear is a huge part of making changes. Often it is better if it is thrust upon us, taking away the choice and thereby giving us the opportunity to learn and grow.I really enjoyed reading your article and will think about the issues you rose and discuss them with my friends when next we discuss the topic Change.HannahHi Hannah. Thanks for taking the time to read the article. Hope you got to see the entire series on searchwarp. If not, just do a search for the phrase, "getting to the edge" and you can see all three articles.
My book is titled "Letting Go of Stuff." I wonder if your small group of friends would enjoy discussing that topic as well.
Thanks again and I wish you the very best.G'day again, Darren,
I will look at your other articles, and I'll also refer my friends so they will come and read them too. Later on, we might seek out your book as well. We like to have a little philosophical discussion/debate.
Cheers, HannahThank you Hannah. I certainly am interested in what your group thinks about the articles, and the book if they decide to check it out. Take good care.
Great article Mr. JohnsonI needed this, very helpful and upliftingThanks so much Edwin. Hope all is well with you.
Don't forget to share these all of the articles with your database. You never know how one of the articles will positively impact someone.
Good to hear from you.
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